just throw me into a den full of books & i wont need anything else. oh maybe just some chocolates

Attended the Big Bad Wolf Book sales today and got myself four novels. Most books on sale were fiction and those were priced from RM8 and above.

Having attended a couple of warehouse book sales before, I’ve a few tips for those who are a novice in attending these really amazing, not-to-be-missed, not-fashion-related sales ops.

Firstly, wear comfortable shoes. You’re going to be standing for quite a while browsing through all the awesome books, and then also another half hour looking for your friends/family when it’s time to go home (these places are usually crowded to the brim with people and books, and cover a very wide area).

Also, make sure your phone is not set to silent thus rendering a very pissed-off girl trying to will with all her might for her sister to glance up from browsing through the rom-com section and see that she has been waiting at the exit for 10 minutes as she could not enter because she had gone to buy some drinks, but that’s another point.

Next, do make a list of books you want to get before going there, but do not even think about getting them all, or even one! Unless of course if you get there really early on the first day itself when everything is not messed up and you have 5 other people looking out for you; I don’t usually find the books that I planned to get initially. The trick is to know what genre and particular theme you are interested in, then speed reading the summary on the back of the book to gauge the gist of the novel.

Or you can just do a Sheena and choose it based on how attractive the cover is.

This time round I bought four books, all of which are based on historical events. I’m now in the opus-phase of which I like stories which are partly non-fiction, because reading about how people live during wars in other countries many years ago is so much more interesting and *ahem* intellectual than rom-com (predictable) and mystery killer stories (surprising twist at the end=predictable). Don’t even mention chic-lit, which I try to avoid all my life!

If you are aiming to splurge, (and it is worth the buys, IF you have the cash T.T) then do bring a card box or a really big bag to dump it all inside, but then I don’t need to elaborate.

And be aware that the people with the staff tags aren’t just standing around for decoration- they’re there if you need help looking for a specific book! I found one who was particularly helpful today, so make sure that they earn their pay by asking for their help if you aren’t just ‘browsing around’.

The current Big Bad Wolf Book sales is until December 2nd, from 10am-9pm at the 3rd floor, Amcorp Mall PJ (ughh parking was such a hassle!).

So how much do you love warehouse book sales like me?

i was never really away;

As you can see, I've done a little editing to my blog layout. Initially I wanted to do an entire revamp, but decided to stay with my current theme and just do a little tweaks and bits to improve. I love the pink, white and grey combination too much anyway.

The header is an awesome product by Chee Ching, and also thanks a lot to those who have patiently endured my questions and pleas to 'help me check and see if it's good!' such as Jer Yen, Phoebe, Daryl, Aaron, Raffi and Siew Ling, the last two who also designed gorgeous individual headers for me to choose from. One thing I have learnt from this experience is that I have almost zero designing capabilities, boo hoo!

So what's different? Apart from the change of text font, one noticeable difference is the widening of the body layout, which was one of my main reasons for revamping. I wanted bigger pictures, and what Sam wants, Sam gets, no? Look out for bigger and clearer photos!

Also, I enabled comment threading with Disqus, so that you can reply a comment made by another person. You don’t need a Disqus account to comment; just fill in the blanks as stated then you’re ready to go.

See the Twitter widget at the top right of my blog? Click on it to view my Twitter profile!

Another major change is that I transported all the links to this page. It’s very newly updated and very neatly sorted out, so do spend a little time visiting other blogs if you have lots of free time in your hands.

Oh oh and I wrote this post using Windows Live Writer, an excellent recommendation by Nicholas Chin. Good way to design how you want your posts to come out, the photos width and lots more!

So, what’s up? I’ve been neglecting to blog properly for awhile now, since the guilty feeling always come haunt me whenever it’s assignment period. But now that it’s over and having fixed a little this layout, I can finally update about backdated stuff like the Nuffnang Awards & the bazillion parties that I’ve been to (eleh sound like a very busy social butterfly like that).

But those would have to wait for another day, as it is almost 2.30am. Happy Sunday!

once upon a falling star

She stares up. The twilight sky is in its final phase of turning deep indigo, the dark blue complementing the barely visible white clouds.

Then with a startling realization, she takes in the scene. From her vantage point, she could see the darkening sky, the moon with its fuzzy edges and a star, just one. The five apartment blocks forms a perfectly symmetrical pentagon. Lights are turned on in most units, the people needing to depend on artificial man-made illumination to attend to their daily chores, or rather at this point of time, watching the idiot box. Having home-cooked dinner.

A gigantic palm tree leaf at 9 o’clock, and if she strains her eyes to the left corner, she could almost see another palm tree.

She could hear nothing. Well, if the deep gurgling of the water of the whole swimming pool, devoid of anyone else, and the occasional sound of the cracking of her toes that vibrates throughout the whole pool means nothing. She stares up. The moon was still in its original position, the sky in the same variant of blueish indigo. Or indigo blue.

She thinks about how lucky she is. That nobody out of around 260 home units, each housing around an average of 5 persons, would choose to come down to the pool at that particular day, hour, minute. That at such a beautiful hour, she has the whole entire pool to herself, able to lie backwards in the water without any children’s shouts to vibrate the water surface, to try avoid ‘hitting’ anyone while she is swimming on her back.

She sighs to think how unlucky they were.

She stares up at the scene again, wishing with all her heart that she has, at that particular moment - a wide-lens waterproof camera to capture that particular view that nobody else in the world (she is very very sure) is looking at. Or maybe even, had looked at? As she had surmised before, no particular situation can be exactly replicated. You might try all your best to arrange the same physical items in its original place, but the emotions just wouldn’t be the same.

Out of a sudden, without a warning, something happened. It took just a few seconds, but then Mummy lets go of little Adelaide’s hand and all it takes is just a few seconds when she runs into the street and gets knocked over. People fall in love at first sight, in a few seconds. Mr. Right says the wrong thing, and turns into Mr. Absolutely Wrong in a few seconds.

All it takes is just a few seconds. No more second chances.

From 11 o’clock, she sees something bright moving towards 5 o’clock. She almost falls over from the water (if it was possible); is that a shooting star??

Ok calm down, it might just be a plane. She isn’t wearing her contacts, therefore she could only scrunch her eyes and strain to see what exactly it was. No such luck, she could only see that it was quite large, and moving very fast. She has never seen a plane move that fast before, usually it was just a tiny speck that moved, well, slow.

Not taking any chances, she closed her eyes and made a wish.

Okay, so she did not close her eyes, but she did make a wish anyway; that the world would be a better place, and she would not hate it anymore than she does now.

She watches the star/plane disappear at the roof of apartment block C. She then returns her gaze to the original scene. It was still the same, the position of the moon, the one star, the colour of the sky.

Image Source: Shooting Star or Skyscraper?

It was nice to know that some things stay the same, even when sometimes a beautiful something will go in and out of your life in just a flash. A few seconds is all there is, therefore she has learnt to appreciate a long time ago.

one morning in november

I'm only posting this long-ago draft up because I am determined not to blog (properly) until my new template is up! But since I feel sorry for you guys who have nevertheless, came back faithfully everyday, I've decided to dig up some old drafts. It's a very angry post, but remember, this was then. At 2 in the morning, weeks ago!

*

2am;

Image source: Hold Me II

I believe that one is only sad, angry and whatever feeling it is, only because one chooses to be. I tell you, I can now make tears roll down my cheeks, and then the next minute I can laugh until my stomach hurts. And on the next cue I can evoke strong unChristian-like hatred and anger in me that you can literally feel the heat if you are next to me. Feelings and emotions non-existent, unless of course if you choose to be.

However I find that certain emotions are harder to handle. For example, anger. I am more easily angered than upset, I don’t know why! When someone I really dislike says or does something to annoy me, I usually get so fired up that I find it hard to breathe, literally!

My head goes blank and all I can feel is my heart beating so fast and the angry curses spewing out. I get angry faster than I get sad. So quick to anger, and so strong, that I even cry! Crying out of anger, have you heard before? I think only extreme anger can lead to this. Therefore I must’ve gotten really really angry really really often. It’s pretty sad actually, as I was a rather mild person back when I was younger. What constituted the change of behavior in me, I should think is peer pressure and media influence. And no this is not an essay on what creates juvenile delinquencies in the country, instead it questions, What made me become what I am today?

Back to angry tears, I think that I very seldom cry out of sadness. Whenever something upsets me I would go do something fun like read a book, jog (hardly fun during the pulling-yourself-up-from-the-couch and huffing-and-puffing moments but omg do I love it when the session ends!), or write musings like this. Taking the advantage of disadvantages to create works of art sounds like a very intelligent theory to me. When famous artists have painted scenes that touched their hearts, heartbreaking scenarios of lovers saying goodbye, a hungry child crying for her mother. Which then hang on galleries to be viewed and loved by many. The one moment of ‘weakness’ memorialized forever. Taking advantage of a disadvantage. I think it really clever indeed.

And since I can’t paint to save my life, I try to recreate memories of my life in words. Happy moments are harder to write as I find that I am usually too busy enjoying those moments to write about it. Even if I do think of a clever line to describe the moment, I would usually forget it the next hour.

Image source: write

However it is easier to recount musings and thoughts-heavy days. But whether people actually read and care that I once felt xxx on abc day is another matter, and entirely unimportant to me, for since when has other people’s feelings mattered to me?

It’s karma I tell you Sam, karma.

loser

So she thought, "Why is it that some people get this and that, when I don't? When we are just as good as them, possibly even better? When we try even harder, therefore we deserved it more?"

"Why is it that some suck at being a human being, but they seem to be more successful than you, who try you best (almost) every time? Why do we sometimes feel like a born failure, loser? With a capital L, mind you."

She couldn't even think of something she was really good at. But she tries really hard, she does.

It's just that I have to understand that sometimes things do not and would not go the way you want it to.

i promise i'll blog properly another day

Today I bit off more than I could chew, and other than wasting time and money, half of what was planned did not even get done.

Next time I shall not aim so impossibly high and waste everybody's time.

i promise i will blog properly tomorrow

Image Source: Cartoon Stock

I turned on my computer happily, thinking about all the NON assignment-related things that I had planned to do.

But now it isn't even midnight and I feel so sick and tired already.

Almost forgotten I stayed up til almost 5am yesterday doing the last assignment.

Summore almost MOS-ed tonight. Where in the world did I imagine I'd get energy from, pfft.

and they say that the sky is blue

It's funny.

These couple of weeks have been so assignments-laden crazy that I can't sleep, eat or go out without thinking of work. I have to put things and people on hold, and face my parents' nags every night for staying up late.

But surprisingly I don't hate it all. At least it gives me an aim to reach out to, something useful to do, a reason to go on living everyday; something that I have to finish doing.

I don't know what will happen once I hand in my last assignment and then in early December, take my piano exam. I hate living aimlessly, going on for days without achieving, doing something. I definitely do not want to go out everyday, but going on facebook for hours of a day would be oh-so-lifeless!

I wonder, what's your reason for waking up every morning?

new age blogging: the nows and thens

The term blogger is highly misused. Or rather, in the wrong context.

It was originally meant as someone who owns a blog, so technically it applies to everyone who has a blog? But to apply it in the context of these times, it is completely wrong.

For nowadays when you say a blogger, we think – someone who actively updates, expected to know how to operate basic Photoshop skills, owns a big ass cam, gets invited to events, is part of at least one major advertising community, is active on Twitter, maintains links with other bloggers and sometimes is even featured on other blogs… also he/she actively promotes their blog link on facebook and twitter and oh, don’t forget, you can always see the telltale blog link on his/her Messenger’s pm?!

But not everyone who owns a blog does this! (Some don’t even update after a couple of posts, oh the horror of horrors of wasted energy and ruining new media statistics!)

So if the term blogger cannot be used to describe just ‘someone who owns a blog, but nothing else is known’, then what shall we call them? Or shall we just come out with a new term for the more active bloggers, like...new-age bloggers?

It’s not a redundant term, if you think about it carefully. New media is constantly changing and updating, so everything sooner or later gets old, replaced by a newer version, or just forgotten!

The trick is to either stay ahead of the pack, or stay true to yourself and strive on despite what the masses tell you. So what are you – an 'old-fashioned' blogger or a new age blogger? Or are you like me, a combination of both – following what I want, depending on my mood at the moment, which I find is the best?

Oh, this wasn't part of any assignment, I just quite suddenly thought about it at 3am last night

people season

There are a number of people whom you are close to for a period of time, and then either slowly or abruptly the group of people change and you get a new set of 'besties'. Here comes a new season!

And this will last for a period of time before you get a new set of 'friends'.

...

...

...

What do you mean, of course I don't really mean friends.

what's your lullaby?

They say your choice of food makes your body what it is.

I say, your choice of songs tells who you really are inside. Therefore I've decided to explore my most-played list on iTunes!

10. Go by BLG - A recent addition to my platlist, it features at an amazing 36 plays, considering that it is 6 minutes 11 seconds long! I love the instrumental part at the end of the song, which itself is 1 minute long.

9. You in Me by Juwita Suwito - I have not heard this song in ages, but I do remember it made me feel...inspirational. About what, I don't know myself.

8. Sugar by Flo-Rida ft. Wynter - I was surprised to see that it was on my most-played list. It is a good, fun song though, and I used it as my ringtone a while back, but I am surprised because it is not normally a song one would keep on constant replay mode while doing assignments?

7. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift - I am proud to say that I listened to this song on repeat so many times that I memorised the lyrics, even before this song was played on radio! I absolutely loved the video, and I absolutely love Taylor Swift.

6. Two is Better Than One by BLG & Taylor Swift - An awesome collaboration by two artists that have also separate songs in this list. This is one song that I try not to listen to anymore though. Trivia - it's one of the theme song of New Moon! Ooh Mr Lautner!

5. I Wanna by AAR - Also another song that I don't listen to anymore, but it was fun and addictive during its heyday!

4. We Will Not Grow Old by Lenka

"You and me will be lying side by side, forever forever..."

What a happy song! Too bad I am trying to avoid Lenka nowadays as well as it reminds me of someone I don't like but who absolutely has nothing to do with Lenka - I don't know why!

3. Friday I'm in Love by The Cure - What an apt song for my life right now! With its happy jingles and sing-a-long lyrics, I absolutely recommend this 80s rock song for everyone. I am also looking for a happy-go-lucky someone who can absolutely go crazy and sing this along with me!

2. White Horse by Taylor Swift - Wow, featuring at an awesome 90 plays on my playlist, do I remember this song! It brought me through a certain phase of life many many months ago, and I remember thinking, "This song was DEFINITELY written for me!"

The lyrics sang "That I'm not a princess this aint a fairytale, I'm not the one to sweep off her feet," which I felt was really describing that particular moment and made me emo all over. Thinking about it then makes me want to laugh now - I can't believe myself then!

And the number one song is -

1. Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy - Nothing can beat this song lah. Ninety-five plays (though not counting; I haven't played this song in ages as well!), this song is the epitome of all emo songs. Like Kristine said, listening to this song can make someone who is not emo, emo. (OK I really gotta stop using that word, I actually really hate it.) This song also reminds me of a certain someone who 'broke' my heart (HAHAH) earlier this year. Again, remembering it makes me want to LMAO, seriously.

I am surprised that there aren't any Zee Avis here. But perhaps it is because that my top songs playlist when driving absolutely differs!

Future top-song predictors

1. The Saltwater Room by Owl City - Lovely collaboration with Breanne Duren, I absolutely love her haunting sweet voice that I had to Google her up! I only got this song a couple of days ago and it's already at top 19 with 28 plays!

2. Superhuman Touch by Athlete - Though it's only at 11 plays right now, I am looking forward to the massive replaying session tomorrow!

3. You and I by Ingrid Michaelson

"Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,

if you know what I mean,"

Damn cute!

anticipate the unimaginable;

I like to ask questions and utter statements that make people think and question their lives,

Image source: Think

because I'm amazing that way.

i had a dream

I dreamed that I was attacked by a foreign man. I screamed and screamed for help, but nobody came. Though nothing happened in the dream, I woke up feeling disturbed for the rest of the day. Can you imagine real-life victims of violence?

Image source: Melancholy Girl

But that would only make the fight more worthwhile.

nov 11 luncheon

Starter: Bland but thick Pumpkin soup

I don't know why the image is so pixelated, will sort it out ASAP!

Dessert: Marble cheesecake

Main course: Roast chicken with thin tomato gravy. No piccies because I was too distracted to take, ha ha!

what one memory would you hold on to?

It's half an hour past midnight and I am just so exhausted. My eyes aren't tired but I can feel myself disintegrating inside. It's the weird sleeping hours I tell you; sleeping at 4am everyday, my body has gotten used to and to quote bryan, it would be hard to adjust back to.

I read this somewhere recently; if you were to forget everything but you are able to choose only one memory to hold on to, what would it be?

Me? I still need time to choose the perfect one memory, but it would definitely not be a happy past memory.

I don't know about you, but memories of past happier times don't make me happy. Instead I'm filled with regrets, heartache and sorrow of the less-happier times of the present. I would rather choose a neutral, rather mature and feeling-less-more-of-a-relieved kind of memory, such as, oh I don't know, the handing up of the final essay assignment? Lame, Sam, lame.

I will let you know the one perfect memory I would choose to hold on to forever, as soon as I have thought of it.

*

And no, this is NOT an emo post okay. I just thought that the question was a really good one. I think I read it in a magazine or something.

My Top 5 Treat List

I was a Bunny girl during the recent Halloween.

And no, I'm not obsessed with the bunny logo or what it represents, I just think it's adorable and so me! /bimbo voice

But I'm even considering getting a tattoo of it on my shoulder, heh.

Combining my latest fetish obsession with bunnies with my love for writing random lists, I've decided to come out with a 'My Top 5 Treat List', (now if only cash would fall from the sky, *begs plsplspls!*)


No. 5 - ...because a girl wants a handy black-bunny device at all times

I want a BlackBerry Curve 8520 because it has multi-features such as video sharing, instant messaging, email and I can even go on Facebook and Twitter! Very easy to bring anywhere, so suitable for a information sharing-obsessed girl who is always on-the-go, like me!


No. 4 - ...because a girl wants to capture all her bunny moments

I want a D90 because it is one of the most awesome HDSLRs around. Can camwhore and film HD videos with it – everyone would definitely want their picture taken with it!


No. 3 - ...because a girl wants to look bunny-chic when travelling

I want a Volkswagon Beetle, more specifically a Barbie pink one!

Why? Because I like the colour pink!

...

Oh, why do I want that car you mean? Besides the fact that it is so adorable therefore so suitable for a girly-girl like me?


No. 2 - ...because a girl wants to breathe in the bunny-ful seawaves

“Let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France...” You and I, Ingrid Michaelson.

A castle at the South of France, where me and my family and friends can spend our holidays over at.

...

Alright alright, a month-long holiday over there would do just fine. Who says a girl can’t dream, eh?


No. 1 - ...(simply) because a girl wants everything bunny-wrapped in one!

And finally, a Dell Inspiron 13 because:

i) It's beautiful - show off with the Alpine White, Obsidian Black or Cherry Red inspiring designs of smooth round edges and crisp clean lines.

Personally, I'd go for the Cherry Red because I'm flaming red hot!

ii) I'll stay connected - with enhanced wireless support and an already installed webcam for the awesome Skype-fun with my friends!

iii) Clear wide and vivid display screen of 13.3 inches on a 1.8kg frame - not too bulky to carry around and yet wide enough to not have to squint; a good feature especially for heavy computer users like me.

iv) HD features - Everything is HD nowadays. If you can't keep up, you might as well just go back to living in the jungle, lol!

Multi-functional beautiful device for a bunny girl to bring around, while looking awesomely adorable so *ahem*!

So, what is YOUR Top 5 Treat List?

tired of my routine life

Won't someone come and bring me to a faraway land, where no one recognises or knows us, and then we can roam around freely, laugh out loud without worries?

A Zee Avi club performance, please?

Image source: twentyeightdeep

thankful, i am

3am;

The worst part isn't going through a tough time.

It's going through a tough time alone, not only without support but with strong opposition.

If you say that I am strong, I agree. But just like anyone else, a person is like a research essay. There are limitations that have to be realised, that has to be stated at the beginning and then carried out accordingly. The level of limitations varies person to person. I might say that I have a slightly higher than average level of endurance, but that is only because I am lucky enough to have what I have, amongst which are a full set of family (though we aren't exactly your typical lovey-dovey family, instead we are far from it!), more-than-a-couple of good friends (of which I'm really thankful for), an expensive education which I enjoy, more than enough food everyday, all my body parts in good working order, a car (even though it's falling to pieces, I'm really more than grateful), a good phone which takes awesome pictures, a place to go home to...

If I were to list down everything for which I'm grateful for it will take forever! And it all comes down to this, that I can 'endure' whatever challenges that come, whatever problems that I face.

I doubt that my life is going to be as easy if I were to lose a few of these things that I'm grateful for. And then it all comes down to the eternal issue of whether I am strong enough to face it on my own. Definitely not without God. But then Sam, why are you still acting the way you do, even if you know that you should do otherwise? That it is not Now that matters, but the End?

I feel like a useless hypocrite, but does questioning oneself do you any good, if you don't actually do anything about it? They say taking the first step is the hardest, but I think that every step is equally as hard, especially with the many temptations that waylay us.

This is a cry out to those who care, to those who aren't as heartless as I who think that your problem is our own, please. Don't lose sight of the real thing that matters in the End.

exclusivity

She wonders whether it's possible that nobody else likes the same thing as her.

That only she alone knows and enjoy this particular something; this hidden gem of a song, movie, book.

Because once something gets out and everybody knows, likes and talks about it, it ain't exclusive anymore.

...and she will lose the special warm feeling, of knowing and liking something that nobody else does.

facade #3

4am;

I believe that there are people out there who likes to see you fail. Who would give bad advice with a straight face and supply convincing reasons on purpose, just so you would not be better than them. Who live just to push people down and then triumphantly stand over your failing body. They are not happy to see you succeed, be more popular, rich, or have more friends. They would do anything to sabotage. Maybe not just specially so, but if they have an opportunity to, they will. You can see it in their eyes, you can sense the negative vibes. Your intuition tells you to stay away! and ignore the negative demeaning comments, cunningly formed to rip you and your confidence into shreds. So that you would worry and find it harder to sleep at night, which would lead to a less positive and more exhausted you - just go straight on to the way of downfall, you!

And the only way to deal with these jokers is to pray hard that the angels would protect you from the negative forces that these people wish upon you. Or perhaps you could perhaps just find some new friends.

The ice cream was RM3 omg! /heartache

facade #2

It's funny how some people can speak about God, give Christian quotes, tell people about His goodness in their lives, how they hope God would bless you etc with a straight face, and yet do not reflect true Christianity values in their everyday behaviour.

But who am I to speak; I have always thought myself the worst candidate to discuss Christianity. Which may be why you will never hear me say a word when people start discussing and debating religious issues. No sarcastic laughter now, but I am trying real hard to be a forgiving, loving and true Christian in every way, so help me. Time to ask myself: If I were to die now, where would I go?

And maybe it is time you do too.

4.20am

Funny how when sometimes I'm not in front of the computer and when inspiration comes a-striking, I type it all out in my phone, but then re-reading it at another hour or during the day it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I guess it's true when they say that the exact situation with the same emotions can never be replicated. The physical settings, maybe, but one can never go back to experiencing and feeling exactly the same as before.

I wonder how would I feel about this when I re-read it and type it down properly. (Nov 2nd, 4.20am)

*

It's very true you know. The sudden burst of inspirations and thoughts that mostly come in the wee hours of the morning when everything and everyone is quiet and all that's left are just the dreams and memories that never ever seem the same again in the bright morning sun. And thinking back on what you wrote or thought about then makes you cringe and wonder, what came into my mind, really?

No, not whiny, just thoughtful.

what monday blues?

Anything to procrastinate, hah!

PS - I'm on TV! Try to spot me here (The Breakfast Show, Nov 2, part 2), I'm in hot pink! But there's a part at the dinner table where I was completely blocked whereas my friends could be clearly seen T.T

who's up for another holiday?

OKOK fine I promise I'll update on the Nuffnang Blog Awards soon! I've already sorted out the pictures according to location, anyway.