Wednesday, April 28, 2010

nothing like a little slap to bring you back to earth

Ignore the previous post in its ambiguity and esotericism (such a beautiful word, sniff!), it was written on a hot afternoon of a little impassioned private moment of intense sentimentalism and arbitrary hypersensitivity.

(Above is the most difficult sentence that took me 10 minutes thesaurus.com-ing, I really need to buck up on my creative writing!) Anyhow, what it really meant was that I was inspired to come out with an emotional post as I was dying from boredom being at home the past two days trying to feel inspired to do my essays, but I’d rather read instead. Also, having The Only Exception on repeat did not help.

Though, it is a really good song, so please go download it now asap.

Ok ok just kidding, go listen to it on youtube now.

Ok ok just kidding, go buy from itunes now.

ANYWAY back to me! I know I said I wanted a start-over but I then I decided to re-import my posts because a) They are me b) They were me c) My hits were spiralling down as there were no older posts to attract keyword searches d) I accidentally re-imported them and were lazy to delete them e) All above are true.

However what happened instead is that the popular keyword searches that used to generate the major hits on my blog is not working anymore, as it has somehow pushed to ‘second page’ of Google search instead of number one as it used to do. And we know nobody actually clicks ‘next’ when doing a Google search, so it’s actually a brand new start over for me and um this blog.

Whatever, I’m too busy having a life than refreshing my stats counter page every 5 minutes to see how many blog hits I’ve amassed since uh 5 minutes ago.

Yes it’s true! T.T why you don’t believe me T,T

Ok fine even if you don’t believe me I don’t care, I have 4 and a 10% assignments left to do before Monday. Busy weekend ahead even, dang.

BTW Happy 3rd birthday to my very-durable K800i, I have always loved you but I do think it’s time for a new phone! If only a mysterious unknown godfather from overseas would send over some moolah to my Maybank account, I’ll email you my account number. PS please send enough for the latest iPhone + billing fees for like ever and ever ?

My birthday’s coming soon mah!

*

B3

A big change is coming soon for us LCS-campus Taylor’s students! I can’t wait to start classes next week at the new campus. I predict that the 4-storeys-high library would be my favourite new hang-out place.

he broke his own heart

Have you ever done something so heart-wrenching yet you felt so necessary at that moment?

Then just when you hear your heart begin to break into pieces you manage to grab Time and pull it back before

before it’s too late?

 

You are the only exception,
You are the only exception. (-Paramore)

#Images taken from here

Saturday, April 24, 2010

the tale of two kids

Today (by the time I’m posting this, it’s Yesterday) my kids were…not so bratty. Yay!

One was hilarious! He was excitedly telling me about his birthday yesterday (not sure whether he’s telling the truth, he’s only 8 but talks the uh salt off the fried rice) and the four ice-cream cakes he had.

Apparently they ate all four. Then it turns out that they kept one uneaten in the fridge. I asked (rather mischievously to confuse him), whether they’re saving it for next year is it?

His eyes widened in innocent consideration, but he came back with a quick reply: “Yes we wait until next year…because it’s so expensive!”

I kept it going for conversation sake: “But cakes where can keep for so long one?”

“We got oven!” Moves hand around to show giant square thing.

“How can you bake an ice-cream cake? Cannot lah, where can!” One must use simple Manglish when talking to Malaysian kids.

OK fine so maybe we shouldn’t. But I do, so there.

“Can one!” Clenches fist to emphasize. “The oven is cold, cannot on, so so you put the cake inside…”

Sorry I can’t do a very good imitation of an overexcited 8-year old. But basically he was telling me that you can uh ‘warm’ up the ice-cream cake in the ‘cold’ oven that couldn’t be switched on.

OK wtf I just made a very sick sounding sentence.

I think I shall stop telling children stories.

Friday, April 23, 2010

we all need a little change from time to time

Three weeks ago I went for my first hair dye session at Toni and Guy KL as a model for a student’s assessment. My hairstylist Christopher did a dark brunette on my hair which uh wasn’t much different from my initial dead brownish hair.

But even a little change is much welcomed as I haven’t had anything done for months, only the occasional fringe trim.

TNG1Toying with my G11 <3

After 3 hours…

TNG2

OK fine so you can’t see any difference. But wait, there’s more! biggrin

Exactly a week later, I came back for the pre-hair show dye which was a killer, this one, as they lightened my hair (a lighter version of bleaching I assume) then dyed red my braided hair, making the colour spread in a fashion not achievable the traditional way.

Gah what a long sentence.

TNG3TNG4

So after week of being a dark brunette and another week of being a redhead, I got back to the academy for the hair show thing (which was today!). They dyed it a darker red again, much of my hair was cut off (sobs!), my fringe thickened and the ‘body’ fashioned to be err mengembang, big and wavy.

Don’t know what will happen once I wash off the hair products though.

TNG5

Like I tweeted, I’m not smiling because hair models are not supposed to. I know these things, I watch ANTM!

TNG6

For a clearer look, though it’s slightly flattened by then: Please ignore the fact that I’m camwhoring (nobody else to take mah, and btw I seldom do this, puhleeze!) & the too big shades or the zits. This is purely for informational purposes only kthxbai

Thank you Zoe and Toni & Guy KL! biggrin

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

musings on a hot evening

It’s quite funny when you think of it: a 45 year-old, tired of all of life’s obligations and responsibilities in the body of a 19 year-old.

Yes, I am so sick and tired of my daily routine. I am so sick of all the days when I have to wake up at a certain time because I cannot be late for morning class. I am so sick of certain nights when I cannot stay at home alone and take a break from the storm of the day’s hectic-ness because I have to go work, teaching something that I have no deep passion for, to people whom I know can feel my increasing impatience for the subject.

It’s so strange not to want to go out with friends every night, to meet people, when you are barely 20 and at the brink of the ‘fun’ years. More so even when I am alone for most part of the day though strangely I don’t feel upset or lonely about it.

Oh wait, I have.

I spent the best part of January this year going out with my friends almost everyday, but then crying myself to sleep every night, feeling so lost and…useless. There were a few reasons:

1. I was almost living alone, although I had a sibling with me we avoided each other and barely communicated, and if we did all we did was argue, making both our lives thoroughly miserable. We seldom do already nowadays, though maybe only because we see each other once a month or so.

2. I couldn’t get a job. That I liked! Or had something to do with what I am studying – communications – which you would think is so silly because isn’t the field oh-so-wide and really, just any job would require you to practice uh communicating, wouldn’t it, but noo Samantha was choosy and taking in factors such as proximity and monetary, I steadily rejected (and was rejected from) the choice of possible jobs I could take on during my 3 months (now 2 months) of semester break.

It didn’t help that I was feeling so confident during my study period, of landing a part time job of something I liked but just as the growing number of ignored emails, my panic grew.

Now I am scared of not being able to find a job when I graduate. A little premature I know, but then I’ve always been a little worried of the unknown future.

Oh yes, so point 2 basically meant I felt bloody useless and that life has no meaning blabla because I didn’t have a reason to wake up every morning. Moral lesson learnt: your job might be boring but at least it gives you a life’s aim whatever it may be, whether to get better pay or a better job. It might also be as simple as finishing that small pile of work, useless in the grand scheme of life but necessary to keep you going everyday.

And no, regardless of what I always complain when it’s assignment period, I really do not want to spend my life sleeping and just go on facebook and twitter the whole day. Because I know, having gone through it myself (not meaning to make it sound so cliche), that there’s nothing worse than living without a purpose.

**

My turning point came when one night I cried it all out to a family member, who sat with me and gave me a pep talk that lasted until 3am. It gave me a few important things to remember throughout my whole life, family and life in general-related.

I realise that you may think you are all grown up and independent now, but really, that’s why they say that one cannot and should not stop learning or even growing up.

**

I went out with a friend, to whom I casually mentioned needing a job and a week later, she introduced me to stage managing a theatre play. Like, how many non-theatre people would get a chance like that? It was truly an opportunity I appreciated, this something different I tried.

So now I had a job. Yay to spending the last month of my break doing something instead of just bumming around gaining weight spending money I didn’t have mrgreen

**

Being in the lowest of the lowest, there was nowhere else to go but up. To cut things short, I met gingerbread boy whom it turns out, brought the sunshine back into the dreary sky. wink

**

You’d think that a young 19 year-old girl with all that she could ask for: family, friends and almost-full independence would be very happy and content. I don’t know myself the reason of being the way I am now. Is the boredom of routine getting to me, because I am just wishing for a different life. A life of where money is not needed to get things that I want, where no inconsiderate people cut queues, no bosses treat you like shit just because they pay you (oh doesn’t that sound just like life?) and I get to do something truly substantial and useful.

Something world-changing, something that stays on forever and ever after I leave the world.

But maybe after we travel the world? cool

We all want what we can’t have. My daily reminder mantra since like, forever?

a little april spring break

It is so good to take a little break from life, from everything. Even if it’s just for a few days.

I just returned from a weekend + Monday trip to Penang to visit the parents, and it was so good to have a few days off not thinking about assignments, work and people people people.

The mundane clockwork of daily duties have turned me into a binge eating robot that’s dying slowly from the inside. I needed a break, and thank goodness my mid-sem break arrived just in time!

I originally wanted to stay on at Penang longer but I had the piano classes to return to. No work = no money = must work lor!

Ever since my parents moved there, my occasional trips there have been gastronomically blessed as my parents happily bring me around the latest food places they have discovered since the last time I was there.

Or maybe they just want to stuff me with food before I return to the foodless land of somewhere-that-is-not-Penang.

I captured a lot of pretty sky pictures!

On the ferry:

Bridge viewYes it is the Penang bridge. And it was that cloudy,

Ferry skySuch a blissful beautiful evening of sun, sea and sky.

The gorgeous colourful evening sky at my dad’s mall’s carpark:

Colourful sky view

It’s things like these that reminds you of the miracle of the very world you are standing on.

Did I mention that I am thinking of starting a food blog? My G11 takes very good macro pictures especially of food, and I’ve always wanted to be a food critic so why not be a self-appointed one since nobody has yet learnt to appreciate my um reviewer skills.

The best thing for a hot day:

Ice kacang

It was the first time that I wanted a second bowl!

One night, my parents brought me and sister to Sakae Sushi for a giant celebratory session, apparently only because of me lor.

This might not look so tummy-filling, but it was more than enough for 4 adults!

Um it might also be because we each had 3 California rolls thingy before that, heh.


My favourite breakfast:

Dim sum

Below is such a pretty picture of a beautifully lighted white colonial building.

Untitled2

A good story plot that comes to mind: the turbulent relationship between the beautiful and headstrong mansion owner’s daughter and a tall dark handsome slave’s son during the 1940s? They face opposition and after much drama, the mansion is destroyed in a late night arson attack and the couple disappears. Did they die in the fire or did they take the opportunity to escape during the commotion?

Being a hopeless romantic, I’d of course prefer the former.

Friday, April 16, 2010

free hair cut!

Hairstylist student: Christopher L.

Where: Toni and Guy KL (nearby giant McD)
When: Tuesday, 20th April 2010
Time: 11am or 3pm

Hair requirements: Natural hair, not rebonded or permed or too layered.

The only mode of hair cut is shoulder length.

I can’t go for this as I’m doing a hair show on Friday already, so if any of you are interested please just drop me a call or comment here. First come first serve.

Oh and I should probably mention that it is for girls only. :) Any future opportunities for the boys I will inform.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

afresh, anew

So the other day I sat down and decided that I would only do things that I like and want to, no more following the crowd.

Don’t know whether it was the PMS or that I’ve moved on to another phase in life, but I just deleted all my previous posts and decided to start anew.

Har har just joking, my previous posts are imported to this blog here. I’ll think about it whether to re-import it here (because of all the dead samanthacje.com links in the posts, pfft!).

No way I’m just going to delete 2 years worth of hard work, time and energy just based on a little moment of PMS-ness or even if I have ‘upgraded’ to the highest status of maturity and decided that intrusion of privacy on the Web is so scary.

Actually I already know that it is scary; I just have to ‘grow up’ a little bit more AND THEN I’ll delete all my information on the Internet, I promise.

Or maybe I’ll just set it to private.

ANYWAYS, with this new template and cleared space, I have decided a few things that I will be doing instead of what you usually see in the old samanthacje.com:

1. More more more writing.

Once I used to write for my pleasure. Then some people complained that there were too many words, so I thought that okay fine, I’ll post up more photos instead.

Negligence and quiescency (such a lovely word, I couldn’t resist not using it!) took over and I got lazy to write, which is very bad because writing is my first and foremost pleasure, and with the lack of practice I feel that my skills have deteriorated pretty badly, and I did not feel the gratification that I used to experience after completing a wordy post. Even if nobody else reads it.

Reaally read it. Word for word.

But no matter. I seldom do too, on people’s wordy post. Unless of course, if I really want to.

Even though I disappeared a little while from the blogging-and-writing-for-self-pleasure world, I still kept track of lovely and inspiring wordy blogs like pinkpau’s, Jowee’s and Sheena’s. This is not the first time I’ve mentioned them on my blog, but because I like sharing good stuff, here they are again.

And no, I’m not trying to suck up. I really like your blogs!

Because you girls write for yourself, and yourself only. Who cares if people’s eyes get blurred from the overload of tiny words onscreen, at least you’re doing something that you like.

And that’s it.

2. More photographs taken by me!

I promise to try to not ‘steal’ pretty pictures from others and to make more use of my new G11 (which I finally bought for myself sometime mid-March) as well as to sharpen my Photoshop skills by creating lovely and inspiring pictures which will hopefully one day be ‘stolen’ by people all over the Internet.

It will be the biggest satisfaction of knowing that one day my words, photographs and works of art are appreciated by people around the world.

And no, I’m not talking about vain photos of myself. Nope, not doing that anymore.

IMG_0562

Okay maybe just this last one? Heh heh.

3. More on what I want and not what I think others would want.

Basically I’m just going to go with what I feel is right.

More words. More on my loved ones. More self expression.

Less emoisma. Less one-liner cryptic messages.

If you want something else, you can always go ahead and create the perfect blog. But why the hostility?

4. Lesser and simpler.

Among the first comments I got about the revamped theme is the ‘too-simple-to-be-Samantha’ and plainness, of which I’m glad about because that was what I wanted. In fact I wanted something more simple like Natalie’s, but I couldn’t find one and I liked the colour of this particular one anyway, it’s pretty light and clean and very slate-y.

I designed this template using Blogger Draft, try it if you are using Blogger, it really is much easier! Though, I’m having some HTML issues previously not encountered, and am waiting for Nuffnang and HTML-savvy friends to help solve it and cure my headache. :)

And yes, my post titles are still gonna be in small caps and something obscure instead of something related to what I’m writing about.

5. XYZ

  • No more ‘Today I went/did….’ posts.

Actually I stopped writing those years ago, only when I have something interesting to talk about. But if I ever use these words again in the beginning of a post, somebody please knock my head hard with a piece of A4 paper or tissue thanks.

  • More sharing of lovely stuff like good music, funny videos, even funnier jokes, inspiring blogs, and of course pretty pictures!

*

Of course, you can also follow me on Twitter if you haven’t done so. Sometimes I mention things that I will never blog about.

Because sometimes I forget that everyone else in the whole wide world can see what 140-characters message I decide on a 10-second impulse to write and publish.

Upcoming: Updated friends’ blog links and a brand new About Me!