Saturday, April 30, 2011

the end of april

Going through our old photos back when we were much happier.

Realized that if things have to change, I will accept it with open arms. If fate says that we are supposed to end up with somebody else somewhere else, then so be it.

Because nobody can take away what we once had.

Maroon 5 in Kuala Lumpur

Maroon 5 in Stadium Putra, Kuala Lumpur on April 29th! (Which just ended barely 3 hours ago) Am quite glad I decided to go for the concert, seeing as I can finally cross off an item in my bucket list, as well as spend a night swooning over one of my most favourite bands in the world!

Yes I made this, but I did not bring it down from the car :(

I was in Arena B, the free standing zone behind the VIP seats. Above is the place before it was filled up, below is when (finally) one hour later.

Concert was scheduled to start at 9PM; however I reached the venue and started lining up from 5.30PM onwards! Li May and I ended up lining up until 8PM+ when they decided to open the doors and many late comers cut queue – so unfair! But I didn’t really care as we were really quite front anyway.

We ended up on the second row of the free standing zone – which made the whole concert quite bearable. Can’t imagine those standing really behind, what can they see?

I predicted that they would start with Misery…and they did!

Was quite tired with all the waiting and standing, but am still glad I made the effort to see them. They played some of my favourite songs from the older albums such as The Sun, Wake Up Call and Shiver. (Not to mention the more popular ones like Not Going Home Without You, She Will Be Loved) Couldn’t really believe it when they played Shiver and not many people sang along to it…as though they don’t know it. Pfft, and you call yourself fans?!

Songs from the new album included Stutter, Never Gonna Leave This Bed and Hands All Over.

Much as I like Adam, I found that his pronounciation was a little off – I couldn’t hear much of what he sang or said. Perhaps there was a problem with the mic, or my ears (girls screaming at the top of their lungs right beside your ears won’t help improve your hearing that’s for sure), but I really could not hear his singing most of the time. Unfortunate, as that was the point of the concert. Besides breathing the same air as him that is.

I don’t know what he’s trying to do here, but he’s so cute anyway! So buff! #crazyfangirlmode

And here they are finally saying goodbye after one hour 45 minutes of really good entertainment.


Empty stage. Buh bye!

It was an enjoyable concert experience, one that I would only mind going through for a favourite band or artist. But there was a bunch of over enthusiastic girls who were really pushy and spoilt half the concert for me. Some of the people also held lighted lighters which I think was really dangerous as the people were so close together that something could easily catch fire – like a girl’s long hair for example.

Anyway better to forget the bad parts of the concert. At least I’ve survived it, with my hair still intact and not uh burnt!

Here I am with Li May, crazy Maroon 5 fan girls!

I actually painted my nails M-A-R-O-O-N-F-I-V-E (10 fingers!) but they came off at the end of the night before I managed to get a photo of them.

Really would like to see them perform again before they disband, and preferably at a smaller cosier venue.

I predict Maroon 5 overdose for the coming week…

If you needed love, well then ask for love
Could've given love, now I'm taking love
And it's not my fault, cause you both deserve
What's coming now, so don't say a word

Friday, April 29, 2011


Granted, it hasn’t been a very good week. However surprisingly I’m finding it easier than I thought, just by going on with a blank mind.

Driving with a blank mind.

Talking to people with a blank mind.

Watching TV with a blank mind.

Doing my essay with a blank mind. (Not easy!)

It’s just like taking a morphine injection to your brain.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

not anymore

They say that if you get angry or upset over something someone did, at least it means you still care.

Today I did not get angry. Not anymore.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

do you think you know or do you know that you do not?

It’s funny how that at any age, we think that we know what’s best for us. We think that we know everything there is to know, that we are at the most mature point of our lives. Then we grow a little older, and think that now we are more mature. A little older, a little more mature. And so it goes on.

But until when? When would you be at the peak of your maturity, of knowledge, of experience? Perhaps it’s wrong to include experience in as it is definitely achieved at your oldest point in life (which is just before your death, I think). Okay then, when would you be most mature, most sane, most logical? Is it at the prime of your life – 40? Or at 55, the age of retirement? Or is it fresh out of graduation? (Very doubtful) Would it be after the first day of work, when you come back home exhausted and realizing how hard life will be for the next 40 years? That moment of unhappy revelation is coming sooner than later for me and I am NOT looking forward to it.

I am 20 going on 21 and am in my final year. After graduation next February, I am most likely not going to further my studies but have to step on the bandwagon of eternal slavery to the work industry (yes yes poor me). I spend many days worrying about what is going to happen, whether I would find the perfect job, whether the perfect job pays me nuts or oranges, and whether I would get fired on my first week. (Why so pessimistic Sam?) Okay I also wonder whether I’ll be stuck on a job just because I’m afraid of change, or whether it’ll take me to places I cannot imagine? The future, as I’ve discussed just yesterday, is as clear as the Klang River. And boys and girls, there is nothing that we can do about it, short of stealing a crystal ball from a gypsy and risk getting cursed for the next 10 generations.

But I digress. The topic of adults and maturity is one that I have debated and discussed many times (with myself) and have told myself many times that the conclusion is and will stay the same: that nobody ever achieves full perfection in terms of maturity and decision making, no matter how old or how experienced you may be.

How disappointing, you say, but I have learnt to come to terms with that fact. I have spent hours lamenting and praying that I am wrong, that somehow humans once reaching the age of, let’s say, 35, will have achieved the full enlightenment.

Unfortunately my prayers were not answered. I opened my eyes and saw that the world was still the same, the adults that I know are still behaving (sometimes) rather childishly and (many times) annoyingly to deserve a spank (now now no naughty jokes) like a 5-year old who has smeared chocolate all over my clean books.

No point asking me to give examples of the said childish acts as I believe that most if not all of us have come across someone who has acted that way, when you thought that they should not be doing it.

Okay okay I’ll give you an example since you’re really desperate to know. If you read through my old posts I once mentioned a politician lady who apparently attacked her daughter’s friend with a scissors because of some stupid argument. I will also mention another case (which I saw with my own eyes, and have blogged about it before) where the parents of a student in my school ‘kidnapped’ and violently hit a friend of mine because they had been arguing in school and blabla long story short: THESE ADULTS ARE STUPID!

The older I get, the more I see of older people doing things that even I know is wrong. It’s such a shameful disgrace to the human community in general. You ask, why do these people even exist? Don’t they have common sense? Don’t they know what’s the basic of right and wrong? Don’t they know that what children see, children do? Even if you are uneducated and have worked as a woodcutter or coal miner (been reading too much Aesop fables these days) all your life, you would definitely have been given natural common sense. RIGHT?

There are other examples that differ from the ones I said above, such as the ones that the answers might not be as clear or obvious. Such as knowing when to stop an argument in a relationship, whether to give it up or hold on tight to it. You’d think that we would naturally know what to do when the situation comes, but trust me, it is harder than it seems.

Nothing I wish for more than the full knowledge of what to do now.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

have you ever wondered why the grass is green and not blue?

These past few days have been a fresh change. Not necessarily a positive change, but a change nonetheless. I am a Cancerian, a Creativist, a restless girl who does not like to be tied down (in other words, a free soul). I want to travel the world, I want to stay home to write, I want to be surrounded by people, I want to hide under the covers alone and read. I cannot make up my mind; I change it constantly like underwear. I want nothing, and everything else. But just like any other human beings I want love, I want care, I want assurance that everything will be fine. If it’s one thing I hate, it’s not knowing what will happen. Of course some of you will say that knowing the future spoils the fun, and what is life if you know what you’re gonna end up as? But I’m a planner, a calendar-lover, the behaviour stemmed from having to multi task my various projects and assignments. I want to know what’s up ahead. I want to plan my transport, my full schedule of the following day, or even the week ahead. I want to know what I will be doing, what I should start on first or which that I have time to push back. I want to know what there is to know about my future.

I want to know when I can afford to let everything go, and follow Death in his eternal path. I am an old soul in a restless young body.

I am not eager to die, yet I would not mind as I am always prepared. However if Life does not reveal its purpose to me sooner, I would beckon and welcome nothingness for I do not think it’s worthy to spend any more time on.

Have you ever wondered why the grass is green and not blue?

There is a destiny for every single thing, every single person, every knowledge deemed as fact by mankind, every myth debunked as illogical, every place named such. There is a reason why I am here, just as there is a reason why green is green and blue is named after the skies. Right now I’m feeling as awkward and useless as a giraffe in a schoolroom.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

qotd #2

Women always had private business to raise with men, he reflected. There was always something going on in the background - some plotting or mulling over some slight of lack of attention, quite unintended, of course, but noted and filed away for subsequent scrutiny. - Mr J.L.B. Matekoni in 'Blue Shoes and Happiness'.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

thought of the day: one fine april night #2

A simple answer to why I crossed out the ‘people’ on the short profile top right of my blog:

In my 20 years and 9 months of life I’ve met enough rude, disappointing, cowardly, stupid people to put me off human beings for the rest of my life.

You’ll never meet someone who spends so much time Thinking like me…and that’s not a self-compliment.

thought of the day: one fine april night

What do you think of life as seen by each and every one of us?